I haven't been blogging as much lately for a few reasons. One reason is that my thoughts are in so many different places, it would be difficult to write a cohesive blog. Another reason is that I have been incredibly busy and blogging has not been much of a priority. However, who is to say that I have to write a cohesive blog?
Some thoughts I have been having:
---I need to make an effort to slow down. How did I allow myself to get so busy? I am realizing that I am a bit too optimistic about how much I can handle. I have a great deal of faith in my ability to do a thousand things at once. To be sure, I'm good at it...BUT I'm not sure that it is good for me. There's the catch. I'm great at multi-taskin. However, I think that often my multitasking skills are keeping me from the important parts of this journey with Jesus, namely meditation, silence, prayer, rest, and the ability to be available to bless others spontaneously. I think that multi-tasking is a great skill, but I have allowed it to be so much a part of how I function that I forget the importance of rest, silence, and stillness. I have a hunch that I'm not the only one who lives like this...
---I'm so blessed and so priveleged. I have choices. Choices are a result of privilege. I have decided to move out of my house and to relocate across town. Moving to Portland has been a great experience overall. However, living 30 min from school, 45 min from family, and 35 min from good friends, and 35 min from church has been taxing. I don't have enough good music in my car to make the distance worthwhile. (I'm kidding)...But really, I'm thankful that I have the ability to choose to change my situation. I'm thankful that I have the option of moving closer to school, friend, family, and church (essentially my community). I'm also incredibly blessed in that I have good friends and I have only been living in Portland for a few months. My honorary family, as well, lives here in Portland and has taken me in for the holidays (and cooked an INCREDIBLE meal!) and that feels great. Yesterday, on Thanksgiving morning, we started the day with a game of football, played Rummikub as a family, watched Miracle on 34th street (the old black and white version, which makes me feel all cozy), and ate a delicious meal! Football, games, old movies, great food and great people - it was my kind of holiday! :)
---Sometimes I take myself a bit too seriously. I have been trying to loosen up a bit and enjoy myself a little more, instead of worrying or being so caught up in "shoulds" and "coulds"....I'm trying to enjoy a bit more spontanaeity, adventure, rest, and craziness! It has been fun. I'm also playing a lot more. I played Wii for the first time the other day. I lost (barely) at boxing and tennis, but I came back and trampled my buddy in bowlng. I think that I'm a better virtual bowler than I am in reality. Now I just need to go bowling a bit more and remember all the skills that I'm learning on Wii.... haha.
Other thoughts...
-Its not as much fun to be a Mavericks fan when I don't live in Dallas. I miss watching the games with the fam...
-The weather really does affect my mood. I'm especially thankful for sunshine these days. I got pretty spoiled in Santa Barbara and even in Dallas since the sun shines so much there.
-Regularly traveling is a healthy thing for me. It helps me to appreciate where I live and engages a part of my soul that I really enjoy. I went to Seattle last weekend. I had a fabulous time with my friend, BrennA (http://brealrosey.blogspot.com/). We ate some incredible food, walked all over downtown and along the waterfront, explored the market, and went to see Ben Harper in concert. It was a delightful way to spend two days, and when I came home I appreciated Portland even more. It made me extra thankful for Portland and I was able to retrieve a freshness in the way that I see my life here.
-I have been thiking about this funny thing we call "dating." I am realizing that I compartmentalize this part of my life. I'm either totally unaware that I'm a 23 year-old single female, or I'm very aware of it. It is like a switch or a dual personality. I don't just let things be what they are. I compartmentalize everything. Perhaps it is a professional thing or a control thing, but I just have no fluidity with this area of my life. Here I am calling it an "area of my life"...do you see what I mean? It may not always be helpful to corner off my romantic life and keep it contained from the rest of my life until I'm ready to engage it. Life is life. Sometimes it involves romance and dating and sometimes it doesn't....but we can't completely control that and that's alright. Sometimes things just are.
-I also think that because I just wrote the above that some of my friends are now tempted to call me and ask if there is anyone new in my life. That makes me smile and chuckle.
-I have been much more open lately to not knowing what lies ahead for me in the future. I'm a lot more contented to enjoy the present and see what happens. I don't need to figure out what exactly I want to do with my Masters degree right now...I've only been in grad school for a couple of months...there is still time and I am interested and capable of a lot of things. No need to worry or stress. Just enjoy the education. :)
Those were a lot of thoughts. What are your thoughts as you read this?
