its ok to be extraordinary...in fact, it is worship

I have a bad habit. Well, the truth is that I probably have a lot of bad habits. One that I have become aware of lately is that I think that I have a fear of being extraordinary. What I mean is that there are times that I realize that God has made me very special and wonderful and he is changing and growing my heart in beautiful ways. The unfortunate thing is that often I want to downplay the ways in which God is doing a great thing in me. SI mislabel it 'humility'. I don't want to seem too extraordinary to others and when I am blown away by the good work God is doing in my inner being, I shy away from celebrating it.

I spent this past weekend gathering with a group of women who have quickly become some of my heroes. We gathered together because we all share a relationship with Jesus and a desire to come alongside others in our faith communities to lead them in the way of Jesus...whatever that means in each of our contexts. I found that it looks profoundly different from woman to woman and from community to community. The retreat/conference was called Convergence. It was encouraging.

The women who surrounded me at Convergence were extraordinary. There is something indescribably alluring about women who celebrate the ways in which God's image is manifested in them. I found that although the women who attended represented a wide spectrum of backgrounds, appearances, and interests, so many of them had a sort of glow that comes from being yourself and being treasured for it.

Let me just say that I am thankful and proud to be a woman!

I found myself feeling treasured. I felt an appreciation for being me. And I realized that I am extraordinary, in my own way. And acknowledging that I am extraordinary does not mean that I'm not humble. Rather, the acknowledgment is celebration of how extraordinary God's love is. He chooses to take silly and ordinary people like me. And he does things. Within us. And that makes us extraordinary.

I turn twenty-four tomorrow. I'm ready. I want to begin living my life in a way that celebrates how wonderful it is to be myself. When I downplay the beautiful things that God is doing in me, I am taking away from an opportunity to worship him.

This is my hope: Twenty-four will be about thanking God for how he has made me, trusting that he made me the way I am for specific reasons and that I will be able to love others in unique ways as a result. I think that the twenty-four year-old Dominique will be courageously obedient to the person she is becoming, despite how much she might want to blend in with others.

I'm ready to be extraordinarily and courageously true to the person God has made me. May God be glorified.

Temporarily In Need of A [Fake] Husband.

I am in no hurry to get married, but every now and again, I get in situations where I realize how useful a husband would be. I have a fun-filled and satisfying single life, so these occasions are rare. Nonetheless, being married has its advantages over being single in some situations.

More specifically, yesterday I went to have my car looked at. Let's face it. Car dealerships and auto mechanics treat women differently than they do men. They treat men better than they do women. And, as we know, I am a woman.

In January, when I returned to Portland, the radio in my car had stopped working. I turn it on and can change the radio channels, but the volume won't go up or down and the CD player is unresponsive. When I took my car in to get an estimate, they asked me to sign a paper saying that they would charge me $100 to examine it. I paused and asked the man behind the counter if the fee was nonnegotiable. He then dropped the fee to $50, explaining that it probably wouldn't take an entire hour to check it out, so they would charge me half. (Initially, I was proud of myself having knocked off half the price. I later found out that my male friends get these sort of estimates for free.)

After waiting over an hour in the waiting room, I went back into the office to see about my car. They assured me that they would know details soon and asked me to continue waiting. Keep in mind that they are just checking on the radio. After about twenty minutes of waiting by the service desks, the man finally came out to talk to me. My radio was broken. When I asked questions, he said that he did not know the answers to my questions. Ten minutes later, he returned with a sheet, a bill, detailing what it would cost to replace the radio. In it, I was given no options for upgrades, used radios, or recommendations.

I have to admit, I felt very alone. Was I asking the right questions? Was I receiving the answers that I deserved? I felt very grown up in a way that I kind of resent. How am I supposed to know what to do with my car if my mechanic, who I trust to diagnose the problem, will not fill me in on all the significant information. I think that one has choices in how to replace a car radio. And I think that I should also be educated by my mechanic on exactly what he has found after AN HOUR of examining the radio.

I decided to get some more opinions. I'm not even sure if it is indeed my radio that is broken. When I think about the symptoms, it seems to me that instead it is my speakers that need to be replaced. Mostly, I wish I knew how to find out more information. I wish I knew a good honest person who knows about these things and can diagnose my car. I wish that I had a fake husband so that when I go into situations like these, I will have an advocate of the preferred gender. And I wish that I lived in a world where one gender did not receive preferred treatment over another.

For now, I'm driving around town with no radio. I think that the silence is good for me. I'm not ready to fix the radio. It is too exhausting. Maybe a good fake husband will come along in the meantime. One that likes silent car rides.